Playa, Why You Hatin'?

There's no such thing as having an opinion these days, so if you happen to have you one, kindly bag it up in a empty plastic bag from Krogers, and toss it in the nearest dumpster. Here's why:

A few weeks ago, I went to the casino with some friends. One of them won $100, and we all congratulated her. After separating from the group, I made the comment:

Man, ------ is so lucky! She won $100 dollars and I only won $15. I'm a loser. Ha!"

The comment was meant to be funny and I said it in joking manner. However, as soon as I said it, one of my guy friends jumped in and said:

"Why you hatin'?"

At first I laughed it off because I didn't think he was serious. But he proceeded to go off on me in front of our friends and random senior citizens on slot machines:

"Hatin' is hatin' no matter how you look at it. Last week, ---------- just said she didn't like this one girl's car because it was a nice car, and she was hatin' too. See how you females be?"

Though I could take one of two approaches in writing this blog based on the previous comment, I'll just go with one- why is everyone on the damn defense these days? As if being able to state a general dislike of someone or something, have a friendly debate, or even JOKE about disliking something is set to cause anger. For instance, you can't say that you don't think another woman/man is attractive without someone accusing you of having a low-esteem. Don't dare make a comment on whether or not you like your friend's new significant other and you're single-- you don't want to be labeled the "bitter friend." And as for those topics (i.e. abortion, gay marriage, religion, politics, etc.)- just....don't talk about it. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. In these days anyway, many of us have restructured our beliefs and opinions to make them acceptable to society and stay "PC." Instead of having discussions where both parties try to make the other understand their point of views, we have heated arguments in which we try to change the others' point of view. What is the purpose in that? Do we really want to have the same opinion on everything?



"Hating" has become one of the most abused words of the 21st century. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure a child's first words will be either "hater" or "swag." In any case, you cannot state an opinion on anything, I repeat, ANYTHING without hearing the phrase "Why you hatin'?" Thank God for blessing me with friends who are mature and intelligent enough to articulate their thoughts and beliefs in way that does not breed anger, but discussion. And when and if I'm not able to express myself to friends, there's always my dear old blog. Thinking about making it private though. I know I have someone out there hatin' on what I write.

Oops.

If I Go Crazy, Then Will You Still.....

What is in the nature of women that makes us so forgiving towards men?

How easily we allow ourselves to be open to a man that has taken advantage of our kindness and vulnerability when in reality, we received nothing in return. In the back of our minds, we know that he isn't good for us, and have accepted that fact. Nevertheless, it's the same pattern. We wake up with the resolution to completely rid him from our lives, and try to do so through deleted phone numbers and tossing shared memorabilia. Yet, no matter how hard you try to get rid of him, no matter how many times you tell yourself that "I can do better," he stays permanently tattooed on your mind and heart. What's worse is though you've endured sleepless nights and tear-filled mornings writhing in pain from what he's said or done, you'll be right there with open arms to welcome him back as soon as he says "Baby, I'm sorry. I want you. I need you."

Would he do the same if it was the other way around?

We shouldn't be so quick to pass judgments as to why one friend keeps messing with "that one dude," or spend time trying to comprehend why the other friend keeps "running back to him." I have yet to find a woman who hasn't met her Kryptonite, and those who have are sometimes scared to admit it because they don't want to appear naive or too forgiving. Fear not woman, because I can almost guarantee you are not alone.

Just keep waiting on Superman.

Sweet Dreams of Passion Through The Night....

Recognized: Entry #1

Shows like TV One's Unsung tend to fly under the radar...as do the people in the show (oh, the irony.) Unsung features artists and musicians who provided a soundtrack to our childhood and/or our parents' young adult years, and are either unrecognized or did not receive the full recognition they deserved. As a tribute to these forgotten artists- and to supplement an already fabulous show- I'll be creating my own version of Unsung blogs, except with a twist- Recognized. These blogs will include actors and actresses from television shows or movies, who cemented themselves in black popular culture. I'll recall my introduction to the talent at hand, and discuss how they've impacted my life and our culture. Let's first start with a music artist:

Melanie Janene Thornton (May 13th 1967- November 24th, 2001) of La Bouche





Bio: Born in Charleston, South Carolina, Melanie Janene Thornton wanted to pursue a singing career at young age, and was heavily influenced by recording female recording artists such as Roberta Flack and Aretha Franklin. In February 1992, Melanie traveled to live in Germany with her sister and brother-in-law, arriving with just $15 dollars in her wallet. After an unsuccessful stint on the nightclub circuit and many failed demos, Thornton caught the eye of music producer Frank Farian, a producer who also worked with artists Milli Vanilli and Boney M. Pairing her with rapper Lane McCray, Farian placed Thornton as the front man of the newly formed Eurodance group "La Bouche," French for "The Mouth." The group's claim to fame were the songs "Sweet Dreams" and "Be My Lover," and soon La Bouche became one of the most successful Eurodance groups of the nineties. Their awards included the German Grammy, the Golden Europa for 'Best Duo or Group,' and the Echo for 'Best Dance Song of the Year."



Death: By 2000, Thornton set out to pursue a solo career, and on November 24th, 2001, Thornton boarded a plane to promote her solo album, Ready to Fly. Tragically, the plane crashed near Bassersdrof, Switzerland killing Thornton (age 34), and all 24 passengers on board.

Influence: La Bouche was another artist I was introduced to by Cathy, and I remember her repeatedly blasting the La Bouche album, Greatest Hits. The music was somewhat foreign to me as it was one of my earliest memories of dance/techno music, but I LOVED Thornton's voice. Imagine my delight when I looked at the cassette tape holder, and found that Thornton was this gorgeous black woman! I don't hear 'Sweets Dreams" or 'Be My Lover" on the radio anymore, but sometimes (depending on the place), I'll hear it at a party or in a bar. And every time, I unconsciously sing the lyrics, word for word, as if I'm that little girl singing "wanna be my lover" around the dining room on Coyle.

As popular as La Bouche was, the group continues to remain 'unsung' in black popular culture, mainly because of the type of music they performed. Although it wasn't soul, hip-hop, or R&B, it was still music performed by two black talented artists that were able to break into an industry dominated by white artists, become successful, AND do it better than it had been done before.

La Bouche: RECOGNIZED.

Do Right Woman, Do Right Man

When browsing through my Twitter timeline or my Facebook news feed, I run across the same question:

"Where are all the good men/women at???"

I cringe every time I see it. Not so much because of the question itself, but because of the person posing the question. You may say I'm being judgmental, but when people use social networks to broadcast their every thought and action and post explicit pictures of themselves, it's not passing judgment on anyone, but questioning how people think they can and deserve to find a "good man" or "good woman" when they have this oversexualized image.

Men- So you tweet about all the women you slept with, how much money you're getting, and in the wee hours of the morning, groaning about how "some ---- would be good right about na." That's cool. Do you. However, don't inbox me a proposal for a date when you spend most of your time calling women bitches and hoes, talk about getting high, or uploading twitpics of some "phat a**" you seen at the store. Don't say you're looking for a "natural woman" when you scout Facebook and Twitter for women to add as "friends" when a good portion of them are sporting false eyelashes, weave, and tons of makeup in their profile pic.

"Man, I don't know why I keep getting tagged in these Jordan/Nike heels pictures!"

-___________________________________________________-

If you want to present yourself to others as a heartless, thugged out, hoe magnet, you can do whatever you want. But don't believe that any self-respecting woman is going to be attracted to that, let alone go on a date with you. Eff outta here.


Women- "Gurl, it's so hard to find a good man out here. I keep attracting the same ol' niggas!"

That is correct. Especially when you have back shot pictures with your a** cheeks on the bathroom counter.

Like, for real. It's getting old. If I was a man, I would NOT have good intentions in befriending you either. And you may be a loyal woman. You may know how to cook and clean and be "God-fearing", but WHO CARES when you look like a whore in all of your photos. And you'll be the FIRST to complain about all of the random inbox messages from "thirsty dudes." Yesterday, I watched a woman tweet about how (and this is a censored recount) much she loved performing oral sex and recalled various memories of threesomes and other sexual adventures. THEN turned around and got mad because men started DM'ing her about her skills.

"I'm a lady. Don't disrespect me!"

Bish please.

Clearly social networks will forever be a part of our culture, both in America and internationally. If you plan on using them to find The One, pay attention to how you present yourself, and don't complain that no good men or women exists. You just may be that man or woman that people are trying to avoid.

Gumpshun

I'm not used to this whole "having a lot of time on my hands" thing. Granted, I will regret this statement come the beginning of Fall semester, but to go from four classes and three jobs, to no classes and one part-time job is driving me nuts. And the sad thing is, having a car would not help with my boredom. Where would I go? Who would I see?

For the most part, I feel that I've tapped into everything Ann Arbor, Detroit, metro Detroit...sheesh, MICHIGAN has to offer. That's why I crack up at the "Visit Michigan" commercials. Portraying the state as this fun-fun getaway with casinos, beaches, kayaking, and birds that perch on your shoulder while you walk through the forest--



Ignore my cynicism. It really is a great campaign. Honestly. Just another rant from someone who's a Michigan native, and is unable to see Michigan through the eyes of a tourist.

ANYWAY, I love to set goals, and I'm even more ecstatic when I achieve them. So far, I'm on the right path, but I feel I've failed myself in one area thus far. I once had aspirations to be an entrepreneur. It was something that stemmed from reading stories on Berry Gordy, Madame C.J. Walker, and Bill Gates. It essentially was one of the driving factors that made me want to be a business major- well, that and money- and an outlet I wanted to use to provide financial support to my family. I wish I had access to my old library records in Dearborn, Southfield, even Ann Arbor. I checked out countless books on entrepreneurship, "100 Best Businesses to Start"-like books, and even Motley Fool's books on investing (should I earn massive amounts of money from the my business..... -______-)

Yet, I could never find The One. No, not a man (*rolls eyes*) but the right idea. When I read books on businesses to start, they gave the usual suggestions:

- Clothing Store
- Landscape Company
- Professional Organizer/Assistant
- eBay Seller
- Avon Rep (o_o)
- House Sitter (o_O)
- Pet Sitter (O__O)

And the kicker is, people continued to publish books with these same jobs EACH YEAR. They'd appear in the Best Businesses for 2001 edition, the 2003 edition, 2007 edition, so on, and so on. As if our economy is stagnant, and world doesn't evolve. I believe I gave up on those books by the 2005 edition. What were my chances of becoming a millionaire as a PET. SITTER.



So here it is 2011. I'm still young, healthy, and ambitious, but the disappointment comes in because I'm not where I want to be in regards to owning and operating a company. At 12, the goal was to have a company by 13. At 13, it changed to 16, and by 16, it changed to 21. However, I still have yet to find The One and I refuse to put money and time into a business simply because a book or magazine says it's "what's hot for 2011." Maybe in this free time I'll find what it is I'm looking for. If not, then so be it. I need to practice patience.

Feel Good Inc.

I need to go on a diet!

Correction.

I need to develop healthier eating habits and incorporate time for exercise in my weekly schedule.

Problem is I have no idea where to start (once again). I mean, I've bought "healthier" foods. At one point, I was exercising for 30 minutes every other day. Then I decided that I couldn't eat healthy AND work out, and tried to do one or the other. #FAILofthemillenium

I don't why I'm having this epiphany at 10 something at night. Maybe it's because when I took off my clothes tonight, I didn't like what was in the mirror. A lot of people assume I'm joking when I say "OMG, I need to lose weight!" and some friends get annoyed or angered that I'm complaining about my size. However, it's not a matter of vanity or being melodramatic. If you look in the mirror, you dislike what you see, and it's something that you have control over, you should be able to change it....just don't...take it to the extreme.



And anyway, I realized that I'm getting older. I had a memorial service for my metabolism last year, and bid farewell to the size 5 pants yesterday as I shoved them in a donation bag. On a serious note, my family members have not received a clean bill of health from their doctors, and some of them didn't even have a chance to make it to the doctor's office (R.I.P. to cousin D.C. 05/18/2011). 24 is not the "end all, be all" but if I plan on living a healthy lifestyle, I need to start NOW.


.....Imma still save room for my candy tho. Just a little room.