Keep Ya Heart Three Stacks

Lately, I've come to realize that when it comes to men, I can really be, let's see..........cold-hearted. It wasn't always like that mind you. As a matter of fact, it's a change that transpired earlier this year due to two people, both of which I aspired to be in relationships with. One, however, hurt me more than the other. It's never fair to lead someone into believing that there is hope for relationship by using empty promises, or that same tired line- "Right now, I'm just tryna work on myself." That's cool. But to verbally express to someone that you have plans on building a future with them and turn around to do "what he did" baffles me. The kicker is, when things didn't work out with the other woman, he decides to try his damnedest to woo me back. In addition, his excuse was "I found myself in love with two women at the same time. I had to let one of you go. But now, I see that I messed up. I love you. Gimme a chance?"

My response: "Praise Jay-sus, you had an epiphany! Welcome home boo!"


ACTUALLY, due to the fact that this is a public blog, I'll spare you what my real response was. All I can say is that it sickened me. Literally. I got off the phone feeling as if I'd caught the bubonic plague or something. I'm never one to be caught up in emotion. For the most part, I pride myself in being able to tell someone if I'm feeling them or not. For majority of my college career, I put relationships on the back burner because I didn't want to be distracted. Men come and go. No need to get starry-eyed over an attractive man, or blush whenever a guy throws me a compliment. Therefore, when situations like this come up, it has a pretty big effect on me. It takes a lot, and I do mean A LOT, for me to let my shield down, open my heart and mind, and allow myself to trust someone. When all is betrayed, I'm caught off guard. I don't know how to handle the emotions and so in a way, I take it out on others. Others being men.

Save me the lecture however. I already know the whole "You can't let one person mess it up for everyone else." I know that. I completely understand that. But until I figure it out, three stacks homie.