I reached the beautiful city of Chicago (once again) and I'm currently relaxing in my friend's apartment. She left her radio playing, but as I am too tired to get up, I'll just sit and enjoy the music as I type.
I don't why this thought randomly crossed my mind, but maybe it's because certain people crossed my mind. The question that I'm having a hard time trying to figure out is why is it that when someone has an interest in you, and you politely turn them down, your interactions with them change? I don't mean in the "it's awkward between us now" aspect because that is bound to happen sometimes, but I mean in the "screw you, our friendship will never be the same" kind of way. It's a saddening situation seeing that there's actual history with some of these people, and once a point in time when I thought I was someone special to them. I'm not naive, so I don't want anyone to think "Well what do you expect Christina? They had they're hopes up, and now they're feelings are hurt." I know. I understand that. I've been there, and in a way, I'm still there now. For me, it's difficult because I've never led anyone on, and whenever I fear I'm crossing that boundary, I get advice from a close male friend on what I can do to rectify the situation. I want to make sure that with my male friendships, I'm not creating the illusion something that's not really there. That's the worst feeling in the world (see last blog.)
I have to admit though, it's not like that in all cases. For instance, I have a friend who has told me of his interest in me plenty of times in the past. I've kindly turn down his offer for dates before, but he has not change and is still willing to hang with me on a strictly platonic level. At least that's what I think.
Whatever. Where the hell is the Thai food I ordered???
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